Love

Lately, I've been working on this Buffy fan edit about Willow and Tara. It chronicles their relationship from beginning to end, and then a little after that. As I go through it I keep thinking about love. They had this amazing relationship that lasted through just about everything, until everything was cut short. When someone feels that kind of love for someone, I just can't see how they could survive without. There are many stories you hear about someone who's partner has died, and they themselves die shortly after. It's like their lives couldn't go on and they just stopped working. I wonder if the person had never loved, would they have lived longer?

Love is quite an amazing thing when you think about it. Two people who just need the other like nothing else. One that will always take care of the other, no matter the circumstances. I think of my parents especially. My Mom's been disabled for over 20 years. She'd always been able to do a lot for herself until fairly recently some things changed and now she's been stuck in her bed the past couple of years, and my Dad still takes care of her. He takes care of everything without a second thought. When he's gone for more than a few hours he worries and has to check on her. Most guys would've left at the first sign of trouble. As much as I've bitched about him in the past, he's quite amazing and I can only strive to be someone like him.

I've always thought of it as something that happens to other people or something that's only in the movies. It really does happen in life, but it seems that it's very rare. With the divorce rate as it is my statement seems right even though I wouldn't consider marriage a good barometer of love since it's just religious bullshit (but that's to be saved for another blog).

I've never experienced love. I've never needed someone so bad it hurts or wanted anyone really. I've had crushes, but nothing beyond that. I've liked the idea of the person, but the person as they were was just unappealing to me. Most of the time it really doesn't interest me because the majority of those in "love" just end up hurt, and I've got enough pain in my life that I don't need to tack on more, but as I go through the stuff with Willow and Tara, it makes me want it.

The big problem with this is sorting through all the crazies. Of all of my friend's girlfriend's, and boyfriend's I've only known two that were sane. The rest were all sorts of nuts. A good chunk of the crazy girls were due to feminism and the bullshit they're fed by current feminists. I'm not saying that feminism wasn't necessary in the past, but right now as it stands it certainly isn't required. I will also address the topic of feminism in a much longer, wordier blog. I'm getting off topic here. Back to love. The majority of those "on the prowl" are crazy. Maybe the reason they're not taken is because of the rampant craziness of these particular individuals. It's amazing anyone can find a parter with all the lunatics.

My family is constantly on me about finding someone. Not my parents though, they know my views on it and respect them. It's mainly from those I don't see as often as I do my parents or my aunt. They asked the question why i don't have anyone, and my response has always been, "It costs too much money, and I prefer to spend it on myself." I've seen my friends screwed out of their money countless times, and I'd prefer to keep that down to a minimum. Money tends to screw up everything, but that seems to be my stock answer everytime because I'm not entirely sure what I want.

The whole dating scene is bullshit. It's just too much work for nothing most of the time. I'm not saying that the end goal is always sex, I'm just saying you can't get very far by asking random people out to dinner. It's always way too awkward for either party to get comfortable because they had to dress up to appeal more to the other. When you dress up, you can't get terribly comfortable with someone because you're lying to them. This isn't how you look all the time, and you're expected to be witty and conversational. What if you're not very good at the small talk? You're pretty much screwed.

With this little tirade will of course come the question, if you don't date, how do you meet people? That's easy. Get involved in something. Talk to some people. At least when you both have at least one thing in common you have something to talk about other than small talk.

I got really off topic there. The thing that really kept me going with Buffy was the relationships. They interest me. How the two met, and how things progressed. It was really fun to watch, and hard at the same time when things were falling apart. After all, eventually I'd like to give it all a shot, but now is not the time, but they always say(Who are they that ask these things?), "Love finds you when you least expect it."
-VampKei